You are missing from me

I have known Chrissy Rowe for over 20 years. She has remained a faithful and supportive friend over these many years. Her story is raw, honest, and heartfelt. This is a book of wisdom. A book of practical advice and dare I say it hope. For those who are going through or have been in the valley of the shadow of death, meet someone who walked in this shadow yet learned to fear no evil and found a rod and staff of comfort. Crafted by her own hand now given to you. I recommend Chrissy and her book ‘You are missing from me’ – her story of grief and hope.

Christine Rowe’s book on grief and loss is not a list of stages to get through to gradually feel stronger and experience happiness again. It is unique in that the author shares her own experience of the acute illness and death of her husband, with the reader. The author sets out to help people understand their situation and to get through it to become everything they want to be – and she has the ‘tools’ to do this. Christine writes clearly and well in a straight-forward manner, advising on selfcare, learning to accept help and the influence of God in every day life. She wants to help people be everything they want to be. ‘You are missing from me’ is very readable and has important messages for life in today’s world. Put this book on your list.

An inspirational read and an inspirational couple. Chrissy’s account of her journey through her grief and loss is real and raw, but also offers practical advice and encouragement. The source of comfort and hope that both Chrissy and Zane leaned into through their life changing situation, is the same comfort that is there for us too, even though our grief and losses may look different.

My husband and I have known Chrissy and Zane for at least 20 years. We have holidayed together as families and shared a lot of life’s joys and trials. Chrissy has had to walk through one of the hardest paths of life; to see her soul mate, a loving, strong, Godly man, who we all loved and admired, slowly deteriorate into a shell of his former self. She has had to manoeuvre the physical and mental ups and downs of watching this hideous illness take her husband, and then having to adjust and rebuild a life without Zane. Chrissy has done this with dignity, courage and endurance, and shares her journey to help and encourage others when they are faced with losing someone so dear to them.

I have been friends with Chrissy for twenty years. My husband Phil and I enjoyed Chrissy and Zane’s company very much. Chrissy talked with me about some of the symptoms Zane was experiencing before diagnosis but it still came as a shock to hear our lovely friend had a terminal illness. We observed the changes this brought about for Chrissy and Zane. I found reading ‘Missing from Me’ triggered a mixture of emotions. This is a very authentic account of the story that neither Chrissy or Zane signed up for and which they both showed amazing grace and courage throughout. I have also observed that it has helped Chrissy to write her lived experience during Zane’s illness and the grief she has experienced. I believe this book will be a wonderful inspiring resource for anyone who has lost a significant person in their lives.

Get your tissues ready, this is an emotional read. Chrissy takes us into the reality of losing Zane, her life-long love, husband, friend, and father to her children. Chrissy helps us to locate comfort when you’d expect to find resentment; she shows peace can be found in the face of incredible pain and suffering. Unapologetically, that peace rests in her relationship with Jesus. The reality of becoming a widow and coming to terms with her new reality are laid bare but hope pervades every page, even the darkest days. I read the book in one sitting…….it’s hard not to.

Zane and Chrissy Rowe were influential to us in our development as a couple and for each of us individually. After Zane passed away we worked closely with Chrissy in church ministry and became great friends. We have learnt a lot from Chrissy over the years; she is a person of deep love and wisdom. We are blessed to have her in our lives. Both of us found this book to be profoundly moving. Chrissy’s courage and strength to go through this difficult journey and write down these experiences so that she can help others who are walking through difficult situations in their lives, is a testament to who she is. Even though Chrissy’s memories of Zane’s deteriorating condition and passing are tragic, there is a strong message of hope which flows throughout her story and that is her faith in Jesus. It reminds us of the verse from Hebrews 6:19 “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.’’ We trust that as you read Chrissy’s story you will be touched and encouraged by her journey. Arohanui